How to Make Bad Movies Good
Foodfight! *Having all the human shoppers look a lot better. *Making Mr. Clipboard more funny. *Not having Daredevil Dan's miss-mash talking go on and on and on. *Remove the creepy baby and replace it with a grocery bag. *Make the copyrighted ikes the main stars. *Redesign all of the characters so they look like THIS ----------------------------> *Make it more like this! *Have it traditionally animated. **Don't you mean digitally animated? ***Actually, it should be animated with Toon Boom, but have the style simulated as traditional animation. ***You mean cel-shading? *Hire YouTube users (YouTubers) and well-known voice actors to do the characters' voices in order to save budget. *The whole animation isn't stolen. **Isn't that a part of the movie being dang-awful? A Talking Cat!?! *Have Duffy's mouth move. *Have the music be only stock music by Paddy Kingsland and Harry Forbes. **However it wouldn't be a public domain soundtrack played loudly on a electronic keyboard and incessantly repeated. *Have Paul Verhoeven direct it. *Have it be released by Walt Disney Pictures in the early 2000's. **Or make it a sequel to The Shaggy Dog. The Lone Ranger *Have The Lone Ranger say "Hi-Yo, silver!" somewhere in the movie. *Make Tonto less creepy. The Oogieloves In The Big Balloon Adventure * Replace the main characters with Mumfie, Scarecrow and Pinkey. *The celebrities are replaced with Thomas the Tank Engine characters. *Scarecrow loses his hat rather than his pants falling. *The main characters are smarter than the original ones. *The movie lasts half an hour. *Make the Movie called "THE WORST BALLOON ADVENTURE EVER!" *Make it released in theaters on January 9999. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III Original Version *Make the intro take place in the old west and have the train robbery. *Make the turtles look better. *Make the jokes sound better. Different Version *Make it what the fans wanted it to be. Dinosaur Adventure *Make Kree the main character. *REMOVE PEEK remove peek. **You are worst dee-no. You are dee-no scum you are dee-no trash. ***Maybe replace him with a way less annoying dinosaur. *Learn to pronounce Dino. *Redub it with well-known voice actors. *Have actual time and effort be put into the animation. -_- Home Alone 3 & 4 *Make the Home Alone series stop after 2... ** No, make 3 and 5 different series, and name Home Alone 4 to Home Alone 3. *...and make Home Alone 5 be known as "Home Alone 3" and also an spin-off sequel. Free Birds (Though, I liked that movie, so respect my opinion.) *Replace the Chuck E Cheese's promotions with the Pizza Hut ones. *If the entire movie is more decent, though. *Have the film turn out to be a LSD-induced dream by two humans (a 13-year old tomboy girl and a 15-year old boy). A Troll at Central Park *Switch its ending with Little Shop of Horrors' ending (P.S., Little Shop of Horrors is a good movie). ~~Or, if we are doing this the right way...~~ *Make the movie be about a troll from a fantasy world trying to survive in modern day New York. The Nut Job *MAKE THIS FILM ABOUT WASPS BECAUSE THEY DESERVE TO HAVE THEIR REPUTATION RUINED. *REPLACE THE BADGER WITH A HORNET. *NOT TO GIVE SQUIRRELS BAD IMAGES. *GLaDOS TO COME TO THE FILM AND KILL ALL THE WASPS AND THE HORNET. ~~Or, if we're doing this in Televisionforpeoplewithnailtoez's way~~ *Make this film about conspiracy theorists since they are big liars and deserve to have their reputation ruined. *Replace the badger with the Sniper from TF2. *Have the conspiracy theorists and the Sniper switch roles, (Sniper is the main protagonist, and the conspiracy theorists are the main antagonists). *Harley Quinn and the Joker make a special appearence and help the Sniper kill the conspiracy theorists halfway through the movie. **And after that run Colonel Bleep shorts to pad out the running time. *Add a "s" to the end of the film's name. Nine Lives (2016) *Make Rebecca the cat instead, and she becomes it by consuming a beverage laced with a rare liquid that turns people into animals, with the effects becoming permanent after 24 hours and her parents have to find the person that made the liquid and turn her back to human. *Remove that litter box scene. *Focus less on potty humor and slapstick. *When Rebecca is turned into a cat, her mouth moves. *Rename the movie "The CATastrophe". *It is released in July 2015. *Have it be animated in CGI. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (The 2014 Michael Bay version) *Make the film better. Nuff said. *Don't hire Michael Bay. *Make it a TV Movie. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul * The original cast makes a cameo. (They had to have a new cast because they got too old for their roles. By the time the movie was in production, Zachary Gordon was in college.) * Take out Mac Digby, the faux YouTuber. * Make Greg Heffley look older. * Remove the scene where Susan and Frank sing Wannabe. * Remove the pig. * Better jokes. * Better acting. * Remove the "diaper hands" meme and make this trailer better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxfyJAkQBaE WHY DOES THIS MOVIE EXIST.png Thats hot.png|Aw that's hot Batman & Robin *Have the film be animated. *Give Mr. Freeze funnier jokes. *Lessen focus on visual effects. *Add Harley Quinn and have Arleen Sorkin reprise her role as Harley. *Use the voice actors from Batman: TAS. The Groovenians (Pilot) *Switch the animation to hand-drawn. *Make the primary moral more relatable, explaining that there are more important things than fun and art in certain conditions. *Have the first scene take place inside a stage. *Don't hire the B52s to sing the opening sequence in order to save budget. *Add more logic to the plot. *Make Looki look like a normal dog. *have mr krabs shapeshift into a krabby patty Wait, what? Elf Bowling: The Movie *Alter the plot majorly to be more in-line with the game as well as the general story of Santa Claus. *Replace the penguins with leopard seals that are separate from Krampus. *Modify the characters' designs. *Rewrite the "Elves Better Be Happy" song to a catchier, more creative one dubbed "Cooperate, Elves!" *Take out unneeded product placements in favor of original, in-universe ones. *Have the Bowling Ball mentioned as a magical one that doesn't hurt the elves, just tickles them. *Introduce all main protagonists in the first and second scenes. *Replace Dingle with Krampus. *Remove the scene where the elves sing a song just because Santa's butt catches on fire. **It just doesn't make sense. Seriously, it's unnecessary. *Have it produced by Touchstone Pictures. Norm of the North *WAY less toilet humor. *Remove the lemmings. *Make Norm funnier. *The movie is named "Polar Opposites". *Sony Pictures produces it. Tentacolino *Have it take place in 1992. *Make it a film where scuba divers discover the Titanic while facing extreme dangers. *Call it The Search of the Titanic. *Film it in live-action. *GET RID OF PINGO! *Have it produced by 20th Century Fox. The Wild (2006) *Make the plot more original. *Remove the racist stereotypes (like German dung beetles, Indian pigeons, and Canadian geese). *No crotch gags. *Make the personalities of the characters better. *Make the wildebeests' goal less creepy, and don't make them want to be carnivores. **Seriously, herbivores cannot adjust their digestive system to become carnivores. *Take out Ryan's meow and replace it with a child saying "Roar!" (think the Lion King). *Benny and Bridget are just friends instead of Benny having a crush on her. *Take out Larry the snake, and replace him with a way less annoying character. *There is an explanation on how Ryan learned to roar. *Traditionally animate the movie (think Who Framed Roger Rabbit). *Recast it with better voice actors and actresses. *Rename it to "Zoo Animals Go Wild". *Add creative humor. *Make Nigel funnier. *Remove the scene with the hyrax on the toilet. Mars Needs Moms *Film it in live-action. *Give Milo's personality more depth. *Have it take place in the 1980's. *Have Raymond Ochoa play as Milo and Jennifer Aniston play as Mom. *Add subtitles to translate the Martians' speech. *Put in facts about parental care. *Ki is an outgoing, well-meaning Martian who isn't annoying. *Modify the morals. Twilight Series *Remove all the purple prose. *Make Bella, Edward, and Jacob all smarter. *Have Bella befriend BOTH Edward and Jacob but reject both their advances as she needs no man. *Have Bella become a self-made woman and the Ambassador of Vampire-Werewolf-Human relationships, helping turn vampires, werewolves, witches, and fairies into respectable US citizens. *After Bella manages to turn vampires, werewolves, witches, and fairies into respectable US citizens, she goes travelling with the Doctor and isn't ever seen again. Titanic: The Legend Goes On * Have it shot in live-action. *Three words: No anthropomorphic animals. **It defeats the realism of a historical film. * Have it reuse props from James Cameron's Titanic (such as the Titanic reconstruction). * Make it a kids' matinee film. * Remove the broken English. * Get rid of the rap music just to make it logical. ** No! Rap is awesome! Getting rid of it would make it worse! ***No offense, but rap didn't exist until the 1980's (Yes, it's true). Also, how would it suit a film about the Titanic? It would be, oh wait... **** Okay. I Suppose. By the way, it began in 1979. ***** Interesting. Case closed. Here Comes Peter Cottontail: The Movie *Make the character designs less creepier. **In that case, make them cuter. *Have it in stop-motion. *Not hire Tom Kenny and other people to do the voices in order to save budget. Cyberbully *Have it made in 2012 or 2014. *Taylor Hillridge manages to get the cap off, overdoses, and dies, and the rest of the film is about Lindsay Fordyce and her fellow bullies going through 200 hours of community service. *Have it released in theaters. *Have the laptop Taylor and her friends are using to set up her Clicksters account be a Macbook instead of a fake Xbox computer. *Have it be made by Gold Circle Entertainment. *Taylor's brother did not change the status on her Clicksters profile, instead Samantha does it and keeps it a secret and acts like nothing happened. *Taylor actually deactivates her Clicksters account right before she kills herself. *Make it less of a snoozefest. Or, if we were doing this RIGHT.... *Wipe this film from existence. :) Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa *Have it produced by Warner Bros. Animation. Didn't they start in 2014? How about... **Have it produced by Don Bluth's team. *Have it traditionally animated. **Yeah. It would look like a theatrical masterpiece instead of a low-budget late 90's internet cartoon. *Make Great Grandma readable. *Recast Todd with a male child actor. *Make it many minutes longer and slightly shorten existing scenes that go on too long so there can be more of a storyline. *Use a font other than Comic Sans MS for the credits. *Taking out that song that girl with glasses and her dad sing wouldn't hurt either. That song sucked. *As for the blonde girl's song, change the lyrics a bit so we aren't left wondering how she apparently believes in Santa even though she just said a few minutes before that he didn't exist. *Release it in the year 1995 by Warner Bros. Pictures. Pokémon Jirachi: Wish Maker *Fully dub the "Wake A Wish" song. *Make it less childish. Destiny Deoxys *Make Tory's fear of Pokémon make more sense. *Remove the "4 years later" card. Lucario and the Mystery of Mew (category5hurricane's opinion!) *Remove Mew, because honestly, in my opinion, he feels shoehorned. *Giving Lucario a Dark Chocolate Bar. *Aaron keeps his Lucario. **That'll be nice. Giratina and the Sky Warrior *Have Shaymin have more of a caring personality a la Fluttershy instead of being a brat. The Christmas Tree (1990 Direct-to-Video Film) *Have it released in 2000 as a TV special on Nickelodeon. *Have it made by Klasky-Csupo. *Show more emotion to the characters like they did with the black dog Licorice. *Fix all of the errors! *Recast the child characters with people that are not horrible adult actors, horrible child actors, or aliens posing as children trying to take over the world. *Replace the bear that looks like Baloo from The Jungle Book with a random polar bear and name him Sherpa. *Make the animation less horrible and wobbly. *The moral is less lousy. *Include atleast a bit of comedy. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie *Recast all of the child actors. *Make it a Cabbage Patch Kids film. *Animate the Garbage Pail/Cabbage Patch Kids with traditional animation (think Who Framed Roger Rabbit). *Use a more logical, original, and developed plot. *Rewrite all songs to make them seem timeless, catchy, and memorable. *No gross-out. *Have it produced by Universal Pictures. Cihuahua: The Movie *Have their be a Werewolf-like transformation for Sondra becoming the dog Bella. *Bella's mouth moves. *Recast all of the cast except for Anya Benton. *Have Walt Disney Pictures release it. Justin Bieber: Never Say Never * Censor all of Justin Bieber's singing. * Whenever referring to Justin Bieber, it/its pronouns are used in place of he/him. * In the end, Michael Jackson's ghost returns and beats Justin Bieber's @$$ Cool Cat Saves the Kids *Have it not be a compilation movie. *There are separate costumes for Cool Cat and his mother. *Cool Cat and his mother's mouths move. **In addition, have Jim Henson's Puppet Workshop and Jim Henson's Creature Shop collaborate and make the Cool Cat and Cool Cat's Mother costumes! *Have it done more professionally. **Yeah. It would look like a theatrical masterpiece instead of a low-budget direct-to-video film. *Make it a kids' matinee film. *Have Universal Pictures and SMGToons (a children's movie program at Studio Movie Grill theaters) release it and have it be a SMGToons film at the aforementioned Studio Movie Grill. *To make it more realistic Daddy Derek is also a cat. *Make the anti-bullying and gun safety plots made separately (they each have their own movie). *It is renamed "Cool Cat and the Bully" to make it more realistic. *Remove the Hollywood Parade and writing contest sub-plots. *Make Cool Cat refer movies cars by their correct names (eg. the Delorean rather than the Back To The Future Car). Fantastic Four (2015) *Make it as a Marvel Cinematic Universe film. *Make the Thing wear pants. *Make the character designs for Doctor Doom and the Fantastic Four closer to the original comics. *Have Stan Lee make a cameo in it. *Make Doctor Doom not have any superpowers (like in the comics). *Change Johnny Storm's skin color white. Monster High series Why Do Ghouls Fall In Love: *Make Valentine's personality more interesting. *Give Valentine a way more satisfying payback revenge from Draculaura. *Make the party planning scene at least more interesting. *Make it less cringeworthy. *The Eternal Pit Of Body Odor is a pit of fire. *Make it at least a trifle bit scary. Ghouls Rule! TBA Frozen (Note from PB&Jotterisnumber1: I thought it was decent, please respect my opinion) * Remove Let It Go and Do You Wanna Build a Snowman? from the film. ** In fact, remove all the songs! * Anna isn't an idiot. * Olaf actually plays an interesting role. * Remove the feeble pee joke in "Fixer Upper" * Fix the grammar in "Reindeers Are Better Than People" * Don't make it invade the market. * Have it be a TV movie produced by Saban Brands. * Have it be in live-action with human actors, animatronics and puppets. * Have it air on Nickelodeon. ** That would probably make it worse. * Make it less annoying. Sausage Party *Try to make actual adult humor, rather than just seeing how many of times you can drop an f-bomb while trying to be edgy. *Remove the four-page-long scene. If you've read the script, you know the one. *Redesign some of the more... questionable design choices. **I mean seriously. ***Have you seen that hot dog bun? ****Gives me the jibblies. *****A-jibbly. ******Yipes! We should go for a realistic change so it wouldn't be mistaken for a kids' film. * Remove the scene with D e and the juicebox and replace it with a scene where D e is found by another food product who kidnaps him and brainwashes D e to work for him. (This scene offended some people.) * D e doesn't die at the end of the film and redeems himself. Edward Scissorshands (Polar's Opinion) *Make it premiere in theatres in 2006 *Make The title character less disturbing *Make it a comedy *Have produced by Paramount Pictures,Nickelodeon Movies and DNA Productions (Or Bad Robot) *Have a female counterpart of the title character The Night B4 Christmas *Evilina is named Emily. *Make the animation less wonky. The Good Dinosaur (mimitchi33's opinion: Worst Pixar film ever!) *Have less sequences with long silence. *Remove the hallucination scene. It gave me nightmares! *Have more comedy in the film. *Add musical numbers in the background a la "Toy Story". **That would make it worse! ***I agree! *Add another character who joins them on their journey who serves as a slapstick character like Bing Bong in their previous film, Inside Out. **But why? Oh yeah, to fufill Mimitchi's obsession with Inside Out. Doogal *One sentence: Give us the original British version to North America! *Have it be in stop-motion. Pulp Fiction * Have more going on. * Kill Jimmy instead of Vincent. * Don't make Vincent accidently kill Marvin just to advance the plot. * Don't make any of the white chatacters say the N word. * The film is a comedy. * Decrease the amount of F-words, I mean, having some is alright, but do we really need to hear it over and over again? * Have the film's plot be around food, as the burger and milkshake scenes are the only good scenes. * Make Jules kill Ringo and Yondaleon instead of giving them his money. Club Penguin series They're TV specials but ey I'm still puttin' em here. We Wish You A Merry Walrus *Make Jangra less of a controlling bitch. *Lorna is still voiced by Cristina Puccelli, Roofhowse is voiced by Justin Long, Jangra is voiced by Grey Griffin, Blizzard is voiced by Bryce Papenbrook and Sydmull is voiced by Sean Ryan Fox. *Roofhowse is renamed "Skip", Jangra is renamed "Jayla", Lorna is renamed "Lucelle", Blizzard is renamed "Brawn", and Sydmull is renamed "Sid". *Have the stop motion animation look less sickly and the story is less rushed. *Have it not overdo stereotypes. *Have the theme of beginning the instrumental theme of I Want A Hippopotumas For Christmas. *Include a tearjerker that will really pull at your heartstrings (only if you let it). *Have Lorna/Lucelle's hyperactive personality not be so awkward and forced. *Cake and Awesome are renamed "Frosting" and "Icing" Halloween Panic! *Everyone's costumes are based off 1600's fashion, and the beginning takes place at a halloween dance party. *Herbert makes a comeback. *Include a sabertooth tiger who teams up with Herbert. *Polter-Gus is a purple ghost with a full set of human teeth, with a toothgap. *Include a young penguin named Jules who befriends Skip and the gang. *Make it more spooky, yet still family friendly. *When Brawn befriends Polter-Gus, have Polter-Gus completely shut out everyone except Brawn. Monster Beach Party The Little Mermaid This isn't a bad film, this section is really more just about how to make it better. * Make Ariel die in the end. Serves her right for not listening to her dad. * Make the scene where the chef tries to kill Sebastian more realistic. Trolls *Change a lot of the trolls names. *It is not overly cute. *Have a better plot. *Remove the pooping cupcake joke and the farting glitter joke, and replace it with funny and clever jokes. Pixel's way *Everyone has Guy Diamond's voice. :) Super Mario Bros. (1993) *Make it an animated anime movie. *Make the plot way better. *It follows the games more. *Change the goomba design (please) *Dub Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach! in English and release it to the United States instead. Stuart Little 3: Call of the Wild *Film it in live-action like the first two movies. *Have a better plot. *Make it a theatrical release instead of a direct-to-video one. Delgo *Have it released in 2003 as a video game on PS2, Xbox, Game Boy Advance and GameCube. The Emoji Movie *Wipe it from existence. We're just kidding! :D Here's the actual way to make it good. *Jailbreak is less of a Sombra/Wyldstyle ripoff, personality and design wise. Also make her hacking gear green instead of purple to lessen the chances of getting probably sued by Blizzard Entertainment. *The poop emoji and the poop baby are never present in the film. Seriously, I bet they were only there so they could get a big-named VA in the film. *The characters are less bland. *The plot is less cliched and boring. *Have it be released in theaters in 2015, when emojis were actually relevant. *Less shoehorned product placement. *Get some company OTHER than Sony to make it. **Like Universal Pictures/Illumination? Oh, that would make it worse. Maybe Dreamworks Animation or Warner Animation Group. *Textopolis is renamed Textopia (insp. from the Awful Movies Wiki) *Replace Crackle (Sony’s own free Netflix-like service) with the actual Netflix. *Remove the Just Dance Now scene (as it was offensive to many true Just Dance players) Alpha and Omega *The wolves look more realistic, like this. *It’s not very similar to other movies, such as Balto and Bolt. *Rename the male pups to Smokey and Rusty, but keep Claudette's name. *Way better humor. *Rabbit Poo Mountain is renamed Rabbit Mountain. *The animation is better. Cars franchise *Remove every character except for Guido. The Smurfs (2011) *Make the movie traditionally 2D animated with 3DCG effects on a few of the characters and some of the backgrounds for perspective camera shots. *Have the plot focus more on the Smurfs, Gargamel and the human village. *Remove Modern-day New York City and Neil Patrick Harris. *Eliminate the pop songs, rap songs, pop culture references and toilet humor. *Make the film more true to the source material. *Have the film produced and distributed by Warner Bros. instead of Sony. **And make have in the opening logos the WB Shield in white and blue. Chicken Little * The characters are not jerks towards Chicken Little and his friends, except for the bullies. * The plot involves fairy tale characters in a school preparing to get into a story, while one of the teachers is planning an evil plot to take over the Fairy Tale Kingdom and become the focus of all of the stories, so Jack (from Jack and The Beanstalk), Mary (from Mary Had A Little Lamb), and Chicken Little try to stop him. * Chicken Little is the tritagonist instead of the protagonist, and Jack is the protagonist instead, with Mary being the deuteragonist. * Abby Mallard is changed to a male, is made a background character, and is called Ugly Duckling, while Runt is split into the 3 Little Pigs, who are all construction workers, with one fat, one short, and one tall. * Chicken Little's dad does not appear at all. * Jack's love interest is Jill, but the love is not stilted or shoehorned in. * Jack is adventurous and brave, Mary is the comic relief that likes to bring her animals to school, and Chicken Little is cowardly, but smart. * The movie is a comedy similar to Emperor's New Groove, but also an adventure similar to Mulan. * Replace the pop songs with original songs. * Foxy Loxy is, like Abby/Ugly Duckling, a male character who is part of an alliance of fairy tale villains, and Fish Out Of Water doesn't appear at all. The Polar Express *Film it in live-action. **Or otherwise, animate it in much better CGI. Peter Rabbit *Not making it a Smurfs ripoff. **no it isn't Disaster Movie * Remove ANY inch of it mocking anything that was popular around the films release and make it MORE like Scary Movie. Pixels * Remove Adam Sandler * Make the video game characters expies to save budget. G-Force * Make the characters less annoying. * Have it animated in CGI. * Make the humor better. Racing Stripes * It's animated traditionally. * Buzz, Scuzz, and Goose are less annoying. * The alternate ending is the real ending instead. * Ruffshodd has a better role other than making stupid quotes and parroting Pride's words. ** Also, change his name to something less stupid. * Make Lightning and the other animals' role bigger. * Have Sir Trenton and his gang of horses trap Sandy in an abandoned shed instead of her stable so it makes more sense. * Stripes is assisted by the flies during training, and then doesn't get help during the big race. I get that it's supposed to be a "Use the Force, Luke" moment, but that's cheating. Category:Movies Category:How To Category:The Oogieloves Category:The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure Category:Frozen Category:How to make X things Y pages Category:The Emoji Movie Category:Adam Sandler Category:Nintendo Category:Mario Category:Club Penguin